My first moments in Vietnam

My trip to Vietnam...

Finally after planning and waiting for a whole year I was on my way to Vietnam. I was going to be finally meeting Lan and spending 2 weeks getting to know her. I was very excited. I couldn't wait to see Lan and speak to her.

When I got to the airport I was struck by how there were no stores or advertisements anywhere in the entire airport. It's a small thing, but having just passed through the Incheon airport in Seoul Korea where there are dozens and dozens of stores selling all manner of merchandise and advertisements adorning all the walls, it was a stark reminder to me of what a simple, underdeveloped country Vietnam is compared to Korea where everything is modern and new. I was to have many more reminders of this in the coming weeks.

Yet the charm of Vietnam lies in it's simplicity. Vietnam has pockets of modernity, but a lot of the country is the same as it's been for hundreds, maybe thousands of years. Things, as I was to discover, change slowly in Vietnam. People are not in a rush, always hurrying, like in the U.S. Things get done, but in their own good time. I found this immensely charming, and ultimately very frustrating.

No one meets you inside the airport, it seems like only people traveling are actually inside the airport, everyone else waits outside the entrance. As I stepped outside into Vietnam I was assailed by two overpowering experiences which where to be part of my life for the next 2 weeks. The first was the heat. It was like walking into a Sauna, only with all your clothes on lugging a small mountain of luggage. I eventually warmed to the heat...Ha Ha...sorry couldn't resist being a little punny, guess I got more of my Dad in me than I realize, but Vietnam definitely kicked my butt in the heat department (more on that later). The other thing that struck me was the noise. Vietnam has to be the noisiest place I've ever visited. The whole time I was there from early in the morning till late into the night there was a constant cacophony of noise. Motorbikes honking with their engines whirring, people yelling, the general din of a city filled with 8 million people living in close proximity. It was strangely intoxicating. Far from hating all the noise I actually found myself mesmerized by it. It was such a stark contrast from my life living in a small coastal town in Oregon, that I find myself missing the noise more than anything else (besides Lan, of course).

I had this vision in my mind of meeting Lan at the airport, running into each others arms, that sort of thing. Really grade A cheesy, romantic stuff, but of course that isn't what happened. The first thing I noticed when I walked out of the airport was that there was no one there to meet me. There were hundreds of people milling around and I had no clue who any of them where. I was supposed to meet Christina and Lan at the airport or so I thought. I started to panic a little, because I didn't have Lan's address with me and I was envisioning living on the streets of Saigon for 2 weeks. Then I heard someone calling my name, it was Christine. With her was a Vietnamese lady, early thirties, attractive. My heart skipped a beat, it was Lan. I said Hi to Christine and then reached out and gave Lan a big hug. I noticed that Lan wasn't hugging me back, and she had immediately tensed up. I thought maybe they don't hug in Vietnam, maybe I'm being to forward, and then I heard Christina say, 'that's not Lan, that's her sister La'an.' La'an was looking at me strangely as I pulled away and I apologized profusely, which since she spoke no English was mostly pointless, but we eventually got things smoothed over. La'an was laughing most of the time as I tried to bumble my way through an apology. Christine went on to explain how Lan's motorbike had broken down and she was stuck at her sister's house. It appeared that I wouldn't see Lan until the next day sometime. Talk about a let down.

My first experience driving through the streets of Saigon where on the back of La'an's motorbike, and it was just about the craziest, coolest experience I've ever had. The people in Vietnam aren't worried about trivialities like traffic laws, they just drive. People there use their horns like we use our turn signals, they honk when they're turning (usually into oncoming traffic), when they're slowing down or speeding up, whenever the notion strikes them, so your constantly being bombarded by the angry bee sound of the motorbike engines mixed with the bleating of the horns, it's a symphony of chaos; beautiful, sweet chaos. I loved riding around on the motorbikes almost more than anything else. The three things that stick out in my mind about Vietnam (besides Lan, of course) were the food, the motorbikes, and the heat. More about all three later.

Lan's house is very close to the airport and so it was only a 20 minute motorbike ride, which was quite enough for my first night I think. When we got there I half hoped to see Lan, but she was not there, still stuck across town with a broken motorbike, and then I heard a commotion outside and lots of excited talking and gesturing by everyone around me. Christine turned to me and said that Lan was here, I felt my knees go weak and I turned to the doorway to meet Lan.

The adventures of Lan and Nate

The writing years...

The first letter I wrote to Lan was in the spring of 2006, and it was really just an introduction. Highlights of my life, things I liked and didn't like, that sort of thing. Lan wrote back, and something in her letter really struck me. To this day I can't really describe it except to say that I felt something in those words. She didn't know much English and so her letter was very simple, just telling me a little about her life, but within those simple words I saw a person who was a very good hearted person trapped in a bad situation. She had to work all the time for almost no money, and she had almost no existence outside of work.

I was intrigued, and so I asked a lot of questions of Christine, and as the story unfolded I saw that Lan was a person trapped by their social and economic station in life. It's a typical story in many third world countries, and it made me sad that a good person like Lan would have to live a life where she worked 13 hours a day, 6 days a week for less than $80 a month. I decided to continue writing her, and find out more about this person.

I wrote her at least twice a month for the next 3 years. She wasn't able to write me as much, because of her poor English skills. It would take her a very long time just to write me a simple one page letter, and so I always appreciated any letters I got from her.

For two of those three years I tried to find the money and the time to go visit Lan in Vietnam, unfortunately things fell through and so I was unable to go. Finally after the fourth time trying to plan a trip to Vietnam it happened. The tickets were bought, Christine got the time off work, I got my passport and visa and I was ready to go.

The adventures of Lan and Nate

How we met...

I guess our story is not your typical love story. I should start by saying that I am not someone who jumps into things easily. I am very cautious, and so I've always been a bit commitment phobic. I take forever to decide if I like someone enough to really give them my heart and soul. I have always maintained that I would never marry someone unless I'd lived with them for at least 2 years first. I have taught Romeo & Juliet for several years, and I always thought that rushing into love like they did was foolish and stupid. I swore that I would never rush love, and then I met Lan.

It was my Mom that set me up...which is another thing I swore I'd never do, let my Mom set me up with someone, but when my Mom's right she's right. Anyway my Mom had a friend named Christine who was from Vietnam and Christine had a niece living in Vietnam who wanted an American pen pal. She was studying english and wanted to practice her english, at least that was the official story. My Mom asked me if I would write her a letter. I was naturally suspicious, knowing that there was probably more to the story than what I was hearing, but I also thought that one letter wouldn't hurt anything, and I was curious to know someone from that part of the world. So I wrote her a letter...